Doctor Who and the Loch Ness Monster was the slightly deflated title given to the Target novelisation of the rather more zingy Terror of the Zygons, the first story of Tom Baker’s second season in the Tardis – soon to be released as part of the Collection blu-ray range.

Originally written by Robert Banks Stewart (who would later gift the show with the equally body-horrifying Seeds of Doom six-parter), it was among the first Doctor Who scripts to be written with the Tom Baker incarnation specifically in mind, and it made an instant impact that has continued to resonate to this day. David Tennant’s fondness for the Zygons is said to have played a part in their return for the show’s 60th anniversary episode, The Day of the Doctor, and from there, the Zygons have gone on to an active life both in the TV show and in extended media. 

A Very Special Story

The on-screen story still repays rewatching to this day, delivering a plot that is both of its time (focusing on the destruction of North Sea oil rigs during an energy crisis), and increasingly relevant with some hardcore ecological themes. 

In the Zygons, it also brought to the screen one of the most arresting “blokes in rubber costumes and makeup” monsters since at least Jon Pertwee’s Draconians, in that they were orange with tints of green, had rounded mouths and disconcerting whispery voices, and were covered in octopoidal rings and suckers. The Zygons looked like nothing else, other than Zygons. 

Which is a touch ironic, given that one of their chief alien superpowers was an ability to shapeshift into the forms of any humans they held captive, through a complex “body printing” bit of technogubbins.

That meant the story had a strong plot, a fascinating new alien menace, and a vaguely bodysnatchers vibe with its inherent sense of paranoia. All of which was a powerful start to a season that would begin to pull away from traditional multi-use monsters and establish the beginnings of a darker tone in the show under Producer Philip Hinchcliffe and Script Editor Robert Holmes. 

Oh, and of course, there was the Loch Ness Monster. 

Funny, the things you forget – especially since the monster is actually central to both the overt plot of oil rig destruction and the presence of the Zygons, in that they feed off the monster’s lactic fluids. 

Don’t ask, it’s a whole supersized rabbit hole of its own…

The Start of a “Golden Age”

The point is, Terror of the Zygons was a belter of a story with which to start a new season, and because of its being written for the energetic Tom Baker incarnation, it also wrote out the regular appearances of Ian Marter’s thoroughly decent naval doctor, Harry Sullivan (who had been originally cast when there was no name attached to the Doctor, in case there was a need to do fighting and action scenes that the star could not manage), along with Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, an absolute mainstay of the Third Doctor’s TV era. 

That’s a lot to replicate in the Target novelisation format. Which is why we can be grateful that it was given to former script editor and all-round noveliser-in-chief Terrance Dicks to deliver. 

Dicks knew the assignment inside out and back to front, and in Doctor Who and the Loch Ness Monster, he proved as much, because there’s very little of substance omitted or lost from the on-screen version, and one or two delicious little tweaks that let you know it’s a slightly different take, or a slightly more explained version than the on-screen story gave us.

In particular, he spells out much more of the psychology – including the towering alien arrogance – of Broton, the leader of the Zygon pod, than was necessarily made explicit on-screen, so while it’s not technically an Easter egg, you get the sense of a broader, deeper creation in the Dicks version of the story.  

On the other hand, there’s a little re-ordering of events here and there, particularly in scenes of a wounded Zygon fleeing across Tulloch Moor, which feels slightly less clear than it was on-screen, but the whole experience remains engaging, diverting, and a thoroughly rip-roaring adventure with aliens and monsters in Scotland and London. Nicely done, Uncle Terrance. 

The Genius of Jon

And then, all hail the powers that choose these things, the reading duties are given to Jon Culshaw.

Jon Culshaw is something of a modern genius of vocal interpretation, and he has a long history of connection to Doctor Who. One of the first impressions he did on the Dead Ringers show that got him widely noticed was an uncannily perfect Fourth Doctor.

Later, on another Target audio novelisation of surpassing joy, The Five Doctors, again written by Terrance Dicks, he delivered a breathtakingly accurate Lethbridge-Stewart (among a host of others – honestly, the man’s a genius). It was so impeccable that Big Finish, the company that makes new audio adventures starring previous Doctors, has now enlisted him as its go-to Brigadier. In fact, in a recent pair of Fourth Doctor releases from Big Finish, Culshaw has played his Brigadier opposite the real Tom Baker, which is the most joyous kind of head-scrambler imaginable.

Suffice it to say then that in a story that features an awful lot of Fourth Doctor and Brigadier action, as well as a host of characters that are both Zygon and their human avatars, Culshaw delivers far and above the pay grade of any alternative living actor. 

While there will always be something special about the visual experience of the on-screen version (not least the presence of John Woodnutt as both Zygon leader Broton and his human facsimile, the Duke of Forgill), if there were ever to be an audionovelisation of that groundbreaking first story of Season 13, on the top of our wish list for it, we would have put Terrance Dicks on the top of his novelising game and Jon Culshaw voicing a story for which it feels clear he has a great deal of personal affection, not to mention what the kids are probably no longer calling “mad skills.” 

Is the audio novelisation the best version of this classic slice of early Fourth Doctor action?

Nnnno, but that’s only because the on-screen version got so very much right – the inventiveness of the plot, the casting, the visualisation and voicing of the monsters, and the tight direction by Douglas Camfield, all anchored by Tom Baker at what feels like the height of his enthusiasm and commitment to the central role, giving a confident masterclass in how to be the Doctor.

But is it the best audio novelisation of the story we could ever have hoped for? Absolutely, by miles. Dicks and Culshaw treat us to nothing less than an expectation-smashing festival of tartan-tinted Fourth Doctor joy that ticks off absolutely all the items on our wish list for the audio novel of Terror of the Zygons. 

And who’s going to turn up their nose at that? Tony Fyler

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