You know when your parents go away on holiday next week? Don’t advertise your planned party on social media as there’s a good chance Flash House will turn up uninvited and wreck the joint. I mean, have you seen how evil these guys look? With demos circling last year, the London based band are now ready to drop their debut long player Brown Sauce. Weighing in with 8 tracks, should that be short player? Flash House don’t have time to dick around with bloated rock ‘n’ roll. This is straight to the point, no holds barred punk grit.

Opener Three Wise Monkeys lays down the gauntlet with Motörhead style hammer-ons and speed rock drumming as we get the first sample of mic swallower Crusty’s vocal charm. The man sounds like he has 60 Camel cigarettes followed by a sprinkling of rusty razor blades on his Weetabix for breakfast.

Brown Sauce boasts shouty, chanty choruses galore in the shape of Raising Cain, Another Day and Touch of Evil. Like a mosh pit committed to tape, this is the kind of stuff to lose your voice over after one too many pints on a school night before pulling a sickie at work the next day to do it all again.

At under 2 minutes, their self-titled track is a full-on Zeke-a-thon. Lead guitars pan left and right to leave the brain shaking and the body trapped in some sort of circle jerking aftermath. In comparison, Die Alone sounds like a ballad even though it probably still hits the 200 beats per minute mark. Domestic Hiss follows and at one minute long it’s quicker than a member of Aldi’s checkout staff.

Have Flash House saved the best for last? There’s a strong case as No Solution is full of dynamics. There are ups and downs via train track drumming and distorted bass runs to accompany the sonic guitar work. Killer stuff.

Like two jerks and a squirt over a copy of Razzle, Brown Sauce is all over before it’s started. It’s fast, it’s dirty and deserves repeated listens. Flash House launch the album at the Shacklewell Arms in London on 5th December. As well as CD versions there’ll be 25 hand numbered cassettes on offer ahead of a planned vinyl pressing on Gods Candy Records in 2018.

Flash House hail themselves as “fast music played by slow minds.” If that’s the case then I’m more than happy to drape my orangutan arms out of a Rat Rod window so my knuckles can drag along the tarmac at 100mph. Ginge Knievil.