Fifty Shades of Erotica (Naughty Films)
Blimey, I’m feeling a little flustered and hot under the collar after sitting through the fifty ‘classic’ erotic (or as my old dear used to call it, amongst other things, soft-core porn) cinema trailers that between all of them, feature just about every weird, wonderful, strange and surreal pulse quickening perversion and all the heart fluttering sauciness a middle aged prude (such as your truly) can handle before keeling over through nervous overload. ‘Fifty Shades’ documents in a journey through the annals of erotic cinema, possibly more effectively than any late night porn documentary you’ll ever watch, how public tastes and attitudes toward sex have changed during the last five decades and how much more uninhibited mainstream viewing habits have become, as it’s become part and parcel of everyday life rather than the sole topic of behind closed doors, whispered conversations and it now belongs to everyone, each and every single one of us, rather than being the secret pastime and pleasure of the dirty mac brigade, swingers and voyeurs.

Featuring the famous, not so famous and infamous (films and actors) of sexy celluloid, nothing is left to the imagination, everything is on show in a tops and tails, front and back, cornucopia of fantastic plots and stories that celebrate the pleasures of the flesh and the trials and tribulations of the human condition and psyche. ‘Fifty Shades’ is, as someone far more credible than me once said, “One hell of a ride”, so prepare yourselves for a journey beyond the parameters of the safe confines of modern cinema and prepare to enter the bizarre world of B-Move sexploitation and eroticism. I do however have one tantalising tit-but of advice for you. Watch the trailers by year (a function the menu allows), and that way, you can gradually acclimatise yourself to the what’s on offer as each trailer becomes less and less constrained by its eras “moral” code, and if it does become a bit much for you, you can either faint with embarrassment, burst with excitement or go back to the beginning and start again. Naughty, but nice. And the music is kind of groovy as well… Tim Mass Movement